Epitaph for a Dilettante

Things that I have learned to do, to varying degrees of proficiency:

• Speak and read Russian.
• Pilot a sailboat of 6000 lbs displacement; tack a 110-ft schooner.
• "Have the airplane," under the supervision of an instructor, in a Schweitzer 2-33 training glider, a Grob performance glider, a Yak-52 Soviet military trainer, and a North American SNJ US Navy trainer.
• Practice the Chinese art of meditation and martial art known as tai chi.
• Play rudimental percussion and Latin percussion, as well as the Irish bodhran drum.
• Play a couple of simple tunes on the vibraphone.
• Understand the writings of Ludwig Wittgenstein and Soren Kierkegaard.
• Penetrate the Internal Revenue Code and the entire body of Massachusetts tax law, as well as the US constitutional principles implicated by it.
• Drive a sports car on a race track.

Things that I have not learned to do, to any degree of proficiency:

• Swim.
• Play golf.
• Play baseball, football, basketball or soccer.
• Dance.
• Paint.
• Sew.
• Ride a horse.
• Clean a fish.
• Shoot a gun.
• Do magic tricks.
• Juggle.